Goddess Worship Forum - Cult of Lycia

While I have a lot of customers and what I'd call "clients," I am very selective about who I get to know and allow to be my sub or slave. If I am going to spend any significant time with a boy, whether it be in real time or chat or voice/cam, I need to feel an actual connection with him. And it sometimes seems that a genuinely good connection is hard to find. No matter how much a boy tributes me, if I am not feeling it I won't be interested in spending time with him. And I really don't do anything I am not interested in.

Anyways, onto what I look for. I'll just focus on positive qualities.

1. Connection. You know, ability to converse on a similar level.

2. Intellect. (and for distance training, this includes the ability to spell correctly)

3. Sense of humor. If you can make me laugh, you're in.

4. Desire to serve. If you want to be my sub or slave, you have to be more than a "fetishist."

5. Similar fetishes. (kind of goes along with connection)

6. Sacrifice. No, it's not all about money. It's about what you are willing to do do make me happy.

7. Adoration. You have to be crazy about me. I love the ego boost

8. Consistency. Big one.

9. Honesty.

10. Open-mindedness.

How about anyone else? What top qualities do you look for in a sub. Or, if you are a sub reading this, what qualities do you look for in a Domme?

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Now that is an interesting list. And a very realistic one, i might add!

What would i say in reply? (From a sub's perspective, naturally.)

Firstly, there is no strict formula because each successful D/s relationship is unique. Both Domme and sub need to find personal common ground. Thus i totally agree with your inclusion of 'connection', 'intellect' and 'sense of humour'.

However, from this sub's perspective, a Domme also needs subtlety. A sub initially needs to feel secure: there can be no submission without trust. In practice, this requires a careful approach. Too much too soon can break the developing bond.

What else?

Well, perhaps here are a few useful qualities to ponder...

- Confidence (Self-belief)
- A sense of perspective (Utter commitment is a rare freedom)
- High standards (True respect must be earned - "Consistency"?)
- Vision (Where is all this leading?)
- Flexibility (Does one size really fit all? - "Open-mindedness"?)

Of course, this list is highly personal and may be unrecognisable to a fellow sub. So i re-emphasise my view that each relationship is unique. A true Domme is alive to this and responds accordingly and in a way that is an honest reflection of their character.

Those are good qualities to look for in a Domme.

I think submissives in general (especially online) should be more selective when finding who they wish to serve. Too many boyz seem to pick the first Domme who looks good to them, or who deals with similar fetishes. I get a ridiculous amount of e-mails from complete strangers who "love" me and want to "give me everything." I'm like, "You're basing that all on my websites? Or my YouTube videos?"

If it's going to be a real relationship at all, there has to be more than the fantasy stuff. The fantasy stuff is great, but that alone is not what keeps a D/s relationship going.

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i totally agree.

Initiating a relationship is easy. Sustaining it is an entirely different matter, requiring compatible expectations and, most of all, insight. What do i mean by 'insight'? Well, simply, some sense of what it is reasonable to expect, given the time-frame, real life commitments and just how much of themselves each party is prepared to reveal.

Step-by-step interaction is the key, taking care to avoid giant leaps, which may produce one-off results but also lead to rapid conclusions.

As i see it, all the best pleasures are based on a gradual build-up of expectations. Little requests fulfilled, small gains which anticipate larger end goals, mutual rewarding feedback, satisfying positive responses. Let's face it, once any goal (be it physical or mental) has been attained, interest naturally wanes rapidly. By contrast, the feeling that there is something still to come (or yet to do) in order to achieve the ultimate prize is immensely stimulating.

imho the D/s relationship is no different. The Domme faces the challenge of nurturing an intial delicate commitment. The sub must be true to his/her inner desire to submit and be willing to let go, to offer trust. The quality of the relationship that follows is then based upon mutual compatibility and integrity - and, of course, time.

Yeah, it's important to keep things in perspective in any relationship, D/s or otherwise. There is a saying, I forget what it exactly is, but it's something like "The bigger the ember, the faster it fades." Like, if things start out in a relationship with a big wild passionate boom, then it is generally more quick to die out than one that begins with some sort of rationale backing it up.

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